Feeling high about you is something of higher self-esteem. If you really want to live a happy and peaceful life you have to remove any kind of negativities that you have in your life. More often we tend to lose self-esteem because we are compared to others who have superior qualities than us. In today's society, such situations are more common where students have a low self-esteem and are unable to take the pressure or fight back and they commit suicide. But, are suicides really the solution? I don't think that it really is. So, follow the tips that we have provided in this article and get rid of your low self-esteem and not your beautiful life.
Stop Self-Criticising and Start Self-Appreciating
A good start for raising the self-esteem is that you need to learn how you can handle the voice of your inner critique. Out inner conscience has a greater effect in lowering our self-esteem. Instead, start appreciating yourself with the little things you do or the little things that make you happy. Practicing that for a month or so can lead to the improvement of your self-esteem in a much less time.
Do the Right Thing
Always do the right things. When you know that you are right and nobody can question you on that part then you would grow greater confidence about yourself. Look for the opportunities that come in your way. Feel satisfied with what you have. Keep a focus on what you do.
Replace the Perfectionism
Perfectionism is the worst of the habits. It will paralyse you from taking any further actions. If you try to imitate the life of someone who is perfect you will land up to unsatisfactory results. Thus, replace them. Go for only the things that are practically possible for you.
Handle Failures in A Positive Way
Where success is a part of life failures will also come. When you face failures, don't get disheartened. Try to accept them as a part of life. If you feel low, then talk to your friends or family members. They can help you sort out your problems.
Be Kind towards Others
When you treat someone gently, you will treat yourself kindly too. So be the support of others, listen to them when they really need you. Try to motivate others and help them in all possible ways.
If you practice these ways you will definitely grow a higher self-esteem for yourself. The more you welcome new things in your life the more you will feel satisfied and forget all your worries.
Monday 26 June 2017
Thursday 22 June 2017
Relationships: Why Do Some People Criticise People Who Receive Attention?
While someone can be in a position where they always find people to criticise, this might only take place from time to time. When it comes to what they can relate to, it could all depend on what mood they are in.
As a result of this, the people around them might prefer to keep their distance if they are not in the right mood. At the same time, a number of the people in their life could be just as critical as they are.
Birds of a Feather Flock Together
Yet, if they these people have the tendency to respond to life in the same way, it is not going to be much of a surprise. What one person says is then generally going to validate what the rest of them say.
Still, even though they will have each other's support, this support is not going to allow them to grow. This is something that would take place if they were to spend time with people who question them.
The Same Direction
However, if one doesn't want to change, there is going to be no reason for them to spend time with these kinds of people. The people in their life will give them the feedback that they desire, and one will return the favour.
And as far as they are concerned, they might believe that there is nothing wrong with being critical. In their eyes, the alternative could be for them to simply accept what they see, and this is unlikely to be something that they are willing to do.
Growth and Development
Now, it is clear that people can only change something if they realise that it needs to be changed. Therefore, if one is not aware of something, it is not going to be possible for them to do anything about it.
Even so, there is more than one way for someone to realise that something isn't right, and putting them down is rarely the best approach to take. As even though this could encourage someone to change, it could also end up having the opposite effect.
Conflict
It could then be normal for them to annoy and upset others, and they could have a number of enemies. But even if someone doesn't react negatively to what they say, it doesn't mean that this is because they agree with what has been said.
What it could show is that they prefer to keep their views to themselves, and so when they are not around them, they might not have anything good to say about them. If this is case, it is not going to be any different to what they may say about them in their own mind.
Destruction
If one has people around them, it might not bother them how people respond to what they say. What could also make a difference here is if one is in a position if power, as this could allow them to get away with things that other people can't.
It is then not that they are critical of others, it is that they know what they are talking about, and this gives them the right to be this way. But this doesn't mean that they won't end up pushing a lot of people away, or that they always know best.
Two Parts
When one criticises someone, they can believe that they are simply observing their behaviour, and this gives them the opportunity to bring attention to what is not right or what needs to change. At times, this can be exactly what is taking place, but this is not always going to be what is going on.
There can be times when the reason one is criticising another is due to what it has triggered within them. Yet, when this happens, one is unlikely to be aware of what this is and this is why the other person's behaviour is going to be seen as being the problem.
A Release
If one was to look at what is taking place within them and to deal with it, so to speak, they might no longer respond in the same way. What they used to criticise in another could then no longer have an effect on them.
However, when this doesn't take place, what is taking place within them won't change and it will be necessary for them to continue to behave in the same way. Through doing this, it will allow them to feel better for a short time.
A Number of Areas
There is the chance that one will have a number of things that they will attack other people for, and there could be some things that have a big effect on them. Perhaps one could judge people who put their needs first, and this could be a sign that they don't feel comfortable with their own needs.
Another thing that could press their buttons is the people who receive attention in the public eye, and this could relate to the people in their own life. One could say that these people are nothing more than attention seekers.
Attention
It is then going to be irrelevant as to why these people are receiving attention, as they are all going to be viewed in the same light. And if someone they know goes go out of their way to receive attention from others, it can be normal for one to end up feeling irritated.
Nevertheless, this is not going to be the same as when one gets irritated even though someone is not an attention seeking. This could mean that someone receives attention due to what they look like or it could relate to the kind of career they have, for instance.
A Deeper Look
If one was to take a step back and to get in touch with what is taking place within them, they may find that they are jealous of these people. The way they respond to them is then a result of these people receiving the kind of attention that they themselves desire to have.
Criticising these people is then a way for them to avoid the pain that is within them, but this is unlikely to change their circumstances. These people could remind them of what took place during their early years; with this being a time when they were overlooked.
Awareness
And even though they have the desire to receive attention, it doesn't mean that they will feel comfortable doing so. Their desire to have it could then be in conflict with their need to avoid it.
Along with this, one might also be carrying unmet needs from their early years, and these might need to be grieved. The assistance of a therapist may be needed here.
As a result of this, the people around them might prefer to keep their distance if they are not in the right mood. At the same time, a number of the people in their life could be just as critical as they are.
Birds of a Feather Flock Together
Yet, if they these people have the tendency to respond to life in the same way, it is not going to be much of a surprise. What one person says is then generally going to validate what the rest of them say.
Still, even though they will have each other's support, this support is not going to allow them to grow. This is something that would take place if they were to spend time with people who question them.
The Same Direction
However, if one doesn't want to change, there is going to be no reason for them to spend time with these kinds of people. The people in their life will give them the feedback that they desire, and one will return the favour.
And as far as they are concerned, they might believe that there is nothing wrong with being critical. In their eyes, the alternative could be for them to simply accept what they see, and this is unlikely to be something that they are willing to do.
Growth and Development
Now, it is clear that people can only change something if they realise that it needs to be changed. Therefore, if one is not aware of something, it is not going to be possible for them to do anything about it.
Even so, there is more than one way for someone to realise that something isn't right, and putting them down is rarely the best approach to take. As even though this could encourage someone to change, it could also end up having the opposite effect.
Conflict
It could then be normal for them to annoy and upset others, and they could have a number of enemies. But even if someone doesn't react negatively to what they say, it doesn't mean that this is because they agree with what has been said.
What it could show is that they prefer to keep their views to themselves, and so when they are not around them, they might not have anything good to say about them. If this is case, it is not going to be any different to what they may say about them in their own mind.
Destruction
If one has people around them, it might not bother them how people respond to what they say. What could also make a difference here is if one is in a position if power, as this could allow them to get away with things that other people can't.
It is then not that they are critical of others, it is that they know what they are talking about, and this gives them the right to be this way. But this doesn't mean that they won't end up pushing a lot of people away, or that they always know best.
Two Parts
When one criticises someone, they can believe that they are simply observing their behaviour, and this gives them the opportunity to bring attention to what is not right or what needs to change. At times, this can be exactly what is taking place, but this is not always going to be what is going on.
There can be times when the reason one is criticising another is due to what it has triggered within them. Yet, when this happens, one is unlikely to be aware of what this is and this is why the other person's behaviour is going to be seen as being the problem.
A Release
If one was to look at what is taking place within them and to deal with it, so to speak, they might no longer respond in the same way. What they used to criticise in another could then no longer have an effect on them.
However, when this doesn't take place, what is taking place within them won't change and it will be necessary for them to continue to behave in the same way. Through doing this, it will allow them to feel better for a short time.
A Number of Areas
There is the chance that one will have a number of things that they will attack other people for, and there could be some things that have a big effect on them. Perhaps one could judge people who put their needs first, and this could be a sign that they don't feel comfortable with their own needs.
Another thing that could press their buttons is the people who receive attention in the public eye, and this could relate to the people in their own life. One could say that these people are nothing more than attention seekers.
Attention
It is then going to be irrelevant as to why these people are receiving attention, as they are all going to be viewed in the same light. And if someone they know goes go out of their way to receive attention from others, it can be normal for one to end up feeling irritated.
Nevertheless, this is not going to be the same as when one gets irritated even though someone is not an attention seeking. This could mean that someone receives attention due to what they look like or it could relate to the kind of career they have, for instance.
A Deeper Look
If one was to take a step back and to get in touch with what is taking place within them, they may find that they are jealous of these people. The way they respond to them is then a result of these people receiving the kind of attention that they themselves desire to have.
Criticising these people is then a way for them to avoid the pain that is within them, but this is unlikely to change their circumstances. These people could remind them of what took place during their early years; with this being a time when they were overlooked.
Awareness
And even though they have the desire to receive attention, it doesn't mean that they will feel comfortable doing so. Their desire to have it could then be in conflict with their need to avoid it.
Along with this, one might also be carrying unmet needs from their early years, and these might need to be grieved. The assistance of a therapist may be needed here.
Tuesday 20 June 2017
Ride the Wave: Hawaii 5-0's Surprising Lesson in Thankfulness
Just the other night, I was watching one of my favorite TV shows, "Hawaii 5-0," where one of the main characters featured in that night's episode was a young woman, a veteran, who'd served in Afghanistan, during which time she'd lost both legs. The show was forthright in its brief portrayal of some of the tough challenges such vets can face: depression, falling into substance abuse to alleviate the physical and mental anguish, homelessness.
But the clincher, for me, was to see this young woman, who (in the story) had been a surfing champion before her service, find the courage (with help from one of the show's regulars) to ride the waves again--in her bikini on a board equipped with special hand-holds so she could "stand" proud and true, on the little bit that was left of her upper legs. She was a surfer once again.
I still cry when I think of it. Not only because I think the show is to be commended for its refusal to hide the character's disability, but because it brought home to me vividly, that every one of our lives matter and have meaning. Disabled lives, black lives, vet lives, transgender lives, homeless lives, children's lives, white lives, Native American lives, immigrant lives, and all the other lives too numerous to mention. No matter what label or category you prefer to use to describe yourself ("Other" is my personal favorite), the truth is that all our lives are important.
You matter. You count. You are important. And so is everyone else in your world. In this season, where thankfulness is the order of the day, I want to be thankful for all those in my world. I want to remember, when someone annoys me, or does something differently than I would, or makes me downright mad, that, as my friend Mike Dooley so wisely says: "People are always doing the best they can, with what they've got, from where they are." Regardless of what anyone else thinks of how they're going about things. Those are powerful words to remember.
That includes you, and me. And everyone else. To look at oneself and others as doing the best they can in that moment is humbling. It kicks in my compassion, my patience, and reminds me to try to understand others, rather than knee-jerk into criticism or blame.
And for that, I am deeply, truly thankful.
But the clincher, for me, was to see this young woman, who (in the story) had been a surfing champion before her service, find the courage (with help from one of the show's regulars) to ride the waves again--in her bikini on a board equipped with special hand-holds so she could "stand" proud and true, on the little bit that was left of her upper legs. She was a surfer once again.
I still cry when I think of it. Not only because I think the show is to be commended for its refusal to hide the character's disability, but because it brought home to me vividly, that every one of our lives matter and have meaning. Disabled lives, black lives, vet lives, transgender lives, homeless lives, children's lives, white lives, Native American lives, immigrant lives, and all the other lives too numerous to mention. No matter what label or category you prefer to use to describe yourself ("Other" is my personal favorite), the truth is that all our lives are important.
You matter. You count. You are important. And so is everyone else in your world. In this season, where thankfulness is the order of the day, I want to be thankful for all those in my world. I want to remember, when someone annoys me, or does something differently than I would, or makes me downright mad, that, as my friend Mike Dooley so wisely says: "People are always doing the best they can, with what they've got, from where they are." Regardless of what anyone else thinks of how they're going about things. Those are powerful words to remember.
That includes you, and me. And everyone else. To look at oneself and others as doing the best they can in that moment is humbling. It kicks in my compassion, my patience, and reminds me to try to understand others, rather than knee-jerk into criticism or blame.
And for that, I am deeply, truly thankful.
Saturday 10 June 2017
Why It Is the Best to Get Involved in Same Sex Relationships With Girls
If you're one of many girls thinking about dating other females, then there are a couple things you should know. Life is too short to not try and be happy whether it be with a woman or a man. The entire process of dating can be very overwhelming and a bit unorthodox at times, but when you meet the perfect person, all the waiting will be worth it. Exploring same sex relationships isn't about being with someone because they're female but because you're willing to get to know someone in an intimate way despite their gender. It's about being open-minded and giving them a chance.
Best Things About Dating Girls
- Dating Is Less Stressful
Many lesbian and bisexual women have said that being with someone of the opposite sex was more fluid and less stressful than being with someone of the opposite sex. The reason to this is that women tend to balance each other out which enables the communication to be way better. A lot of great relationships tend to break and damage due to miscommunication, which can cause future troubles. Women are just easier to communicate with in comparison to men.
- Long Lasting Relationships
Women are usually more capable of staying within a relationship. They have the ability to go the distance and stay longer. If you're looking to experiment and try going with women, you'll find that you will be a lot happier if you have goals on having a longer relationship. Don't be shocked if your new girlfriend sticks beside you for the long haul and stays much longer.
- Elegance In Women
Women are just naturally more beautiful. They're unique beings with elegance, grace, and pure beauty. It's their movement, how they talk, the way they walk, and what they do that really gets other people noticing them. Women are so much more beautiful than most think. They're majestic and fluid not only on the dance floor but also on how they live their lives.
- Nurturing Nature
Women are just born with the maternal instinct. They are born with this ability to be nurturing and loving. Even if a woman decides not to have a child, she will most likely have a nurturing nature. Having a girlfriend and raising a child with her is surely going to be exciting because of how she handles kids. Her natural nurturing nature is what will help you both raise kids successfully. Even in the world of just being together, they'll treat you right and be easier to live with throughout the day in comparison to men.
In conclusion, if you are tired of all your other relationships with men not working out, then maybe being with a girl will give you a change of scenery. You will learn so much from being with girls, and you will also learn a lot about yourself. Don't let the fear of what people may say about you stop yourself from trying it out and being happy, because you never know, your soulmate may just be a woman.
Friday 9 June 2017
You Can Change Your Story
Is your life filled with drama? Do you have many conflicting drives and emotions that overflow to your energy level and weigh you down? Do you self-doubt? Have you been stuck for many years in sadness, pain, and endless "why me" scenarios?
Let me ask you this how many more years of your life do you want to live like that? Can you actually change or are you finding excuses to support your dilemma? Do you blame your emotional pain on circumstances or things around you, telling yourself you have no control over it?
Often a painful childhood or a painful young adult experience creates a victim mindset in an otherwise strong, powerful, creative adult. But you must understand that your pain is only one layer of your story.
You see we all have our stories, but the difference is between the choices of story, there is the story of those who do and those who don't.
All stories are one of two types' either warnings or examples; you decide which story to live by. Here is the beauty of life, if all your life your story was a warning you can actually turn it around to an example in seconds. To let go of your negative story you need to be filled with life, fun and force.
The first step is to understand your pain and see where it is coming from. Then recreate the purpose of your past pain to serve better your future.
Many choose anger as a self-shielding emotion, making it part of their story, which is a more resourceful tool than depression. As it is a way to justify pain, to cling onto the excuses that justifies negative emotions. If your story leads you to pain and you don't want to be in pain then you should simply change your story to one that would lead to fulfilment and happiness.
The negative person or thoughts you are is serving a purpose in your life, but deriving these negative emotions makes you be the victim once more, takes you back to that abused child, or betrayed young adult.
You made yourself believe that this negative person is a part of who you are as a person, but in fact it is not, it is simply the story you chose to live by. In fact I'm sure if you look around you will see that your life also has blessings, but you chose to focus on the bad and ignore the good.
Another way of looking at it is by perceiving the negative situations that you endured in your past as the reason of whom you've become today. Most probably it is what gives you your passion, intensity and drive; the strength you had to withstand and overcome your trauma is where you get your confidence. So the solution is to find an alternate meaning to your pain. It is a revelation when you realise that the worst days in your life are truly your best days, as it was from that endured pain and hurt that you've become the person you are.
Realise that everyone at some point or another goes through injustice and pain from other people, it is part of how we grow spiritually. There is no possibility to pull muscle without lifting something heavy, and if you don't lift it, life will crush you. Sure lifting those emotional weights off your shoulders would be painful as it is not easy to lift such burdens, but the day you decide to change your story, is the day that makes you no longer pressed down by your past.
If anyone suffered abuse in any way physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally or sexually when the injustice goes to that level it creates a spiritual pain not just a physical pain. You must realise that there was a meaning in all of it, for something greater, greater than just you. The day will come when you say if it wasn't for all that I hated most I wouldn't have what I love most. Make your experience a vehicle to maximise your spirit and well-being.
Maybe you start to realise that the problems in your life are actually gifts, for where would we be without our problems, life will be dull and unchallenging without them. So use your problems to give meaning to your life.
You have to decide to enjoy all that your life has to offer, good as well as bad, because there are always things beyond your control and it will only benefit you if you never limit your story.
By taking the story of pain and turning it into a meaning and journey you elevate your future.
Let me ask you this how many more years of your life do you want to live like that? Can you actually change or are you finding excuses to support your dilemma? Do you blame your emotional pain on circumstances or things around you, telling yourself you have no control over it?
Often a painful childhood or a painful young adult experience creates a victim mindset in an otherwise strong, powerful, creative adult. But you must understand that your pain is only one layer of your story.
You see we all have our stories, but the difference is between the choices of story, there is the story of those who do and those who don't.
All stories are one of two types' either warnings or examples; you decide which story to live by. Here is the beauty of life, if all your life your story was a warning you can actually turn it around to an example in seconds. To let go of your negative story you need to be filled with life, fun and force.
The first step is to understand your pain and see where it is coming from. Then recreate the purpose of your past pain to serve better your future.
Many choose anger as a self-shielding emotion, making it part of their story, which is a more resourceful tool than depression. As it is a way to justify pain, to cling onto the excuses that justifies negative emotions. If your story leads you to pain and you don't want to be in pain then you should simply change your story to one that would lead to fulfilment and happiness.
The negative person or thoughts you are is serving a purpose in your life, but deriving these negative emotions makes you be the victim once more, takes you back to that abused child, or betrayed young adult.
You made yourself believe that this negative person is a part of who you are as a person, but in fact it is not, it is simply the story you chose to live by. In fact I'm sure if you look around you will see that your life also has blessings, but you chose to focus on the bad and ignore the good.
Another way of looking at it is by perceiving the negative situations that you endured in your past as the reason of whom you've become today. Most probably it is what gives you your passion, intensity and drive; the strength you had to withstand and overcome your trauma is where you get your confidence. So the solution is to find an alternate meaning to your pain. It is a revelation when you realise that the worst days in your life are truly your best days, as it was from that endured pain and hurt that you've become the person you are.
Realise that everyone at some point or another goes through injustice and pain from other people, it is part of how we grow spiritually. There is no possibility to pull muscle without lifting something heavy, and if you don't lift it, life will crush you. Sure lifting those emotional weights off your shoulders would be painful as it is not easy to lift such burdens, but the day you decide to change your story, is the day that makes you no longer pressed down by your past.
If anyone suffered abuse in any way physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally or sexually when the injustice goes to that level it creates a spiritual pain not just a physical pain. You must realise that there was a meaning in all of it, for something greater, greater than just you. The day will come when you say if it wasn't for all that I hated most I wouldn't have what I love most. Make your experience a vehicle to maximise your spirit and well-being.
Maybe you start to realise that the problems in your life are actually gifts, for where would we be without our problems, life will be dull and unchallenging without them. So use your problems to give meaning to your life.
You have to decide to enjoy all that your life has to offer, good as well as bad, because there are always things beyond your control and it will only benefit you if you never limit your story.
By taking the story of pain and turning it into a meaning and journey you elevate your future.
Wednesday 7 June 2017
Finding Our Own Voice
It's time! "Time for what?" you ask. It's time for us to take charge of our own lives and to take charge of building our own destiny through finding our own voice right now.
In finding our voice we find our own magic. And one of the many magical parts of finding our voice is that our leadership skills, self-esteem, and our self-confidence grows exponentially. With a vastly improved self-image, who knows how far we can wave our magic wand into the future? The bottom line is that good things start to happen once we find our voice and plant our feet.
Furthermore, once we find our own voice, we will also find it easier to stand taller on our own two feet. Standing taller on our own two feet is where the path of greatness begins. Once we do this, nature's breeze tends to push the weeds into leaning aside and thus opening up the path for us that we weren't previously able to see. Sadly, many won't ever be able to see this slightly hidden and less worn path.
I say let's run down that path at full speed on those two good legs of ours. Let's bellow out at the top of our healthy young lungs the joy that comes with finding our own voice and standing on our own two feet. Let's not hesitate. Let's move swiftly and with confidence.
Traveling down the less worn path that we have consciously chosen, will help us to become the one in our family tree that generations of offspring will remember as the one that turned this family around. Our future family dynasty will never again struggle with mediocrity. Instead, our future family dynasty will be a family full of life and full of life's possibilities.
Now teens, go learn, lead, and lay the way to a better world for all of us. Remember all the good that comes from finding your own voice and standing tall on your own two feet. And once again, thanks in advance for all that you do, and all that you will do...
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