The moment we talk about gay rights there are people who jump up in arms. Some say they are tired of hearing about gay rights, and yet it wouldn't be such a popular theme if these rights weren't so frequently denied. This article is one of a few in which I am going to look into the gay rights that are involved when gay activists shouts discrimination. Firstly some social obstacles.
- Showing affection in public
I have heard the following more than I would like to remember: "I don't mind what gay people do as long as I do not have to see it." To some extent I agree with this, but fair is fair - what's good for the goose is good for the gander. I'm not the public affection type, but if a man hold his girlfriend's hand it doesn't offend me in the least. If a man kisses his wife goodbye on an airport it doesn't worry me a bit. If a girl gives her boyfriend a hug in a mall I hardly notice it. A long endearing French kiss on the sidewalk may offend me a bit, but normally I ignore it. The question is whether it would be okay if the couple holding hands, kissing, hugging, or French kissing happens to be gay.
- Stating your orientation in public
Research shows that most gay people will think twice before they say that they are homosexual in public. Not saying it for fun, but stating it when people try to set you up with someone of the opposite sex, because of your unmarried status. The reason for this is a fear of homophobia. It isn't important what the government's stand on homosexuality is, the moment gay people are alone in public they fear discrimination at businesses, public offices, hospitals, guesthouses, etc.
- Stating your relationship in public
Nobody will even give it a second thought if you hear that a husband is looking for his wife at work, in a hospital, a bank, or any official building. Most people do not even realise this but a lot of gay people are too afraid to say what their relationship to the patient in the hospital is. I'm not talking about closeted gay people. Openly gay people would think twice before they state their relationship in public. Like one of my clients once said: "It feels as if I am leaving the closet every single day."
The three examples mentioned above might seem like trivialities, but believe me, if you are constantly weighing whether you should tell or stay silent it become an irritating nuisance. Straight people would not understand this as a problem because you never know what rights you take for granted until they are threatened.
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