Growing up in Uganda, homosexuality was something we never
talked much about. It was for this reason that I grew up different from other
children in our village. For example around the age of 12 years I found I had
difficulties to make friends with my fellow boys in traditional known ways,
like playing childhood and teenage games, instead, I found myself sexually
attracted to them.
However coming from a strong Anglican back ground, (my Mum
was a born-again Christian and a warden in the church) I grew up, with my
brothers and sisters knowing we have to have to accent to that religious
set-up. We grew up to know that religious leaders preached the well-known
mantra, that homosexuality is a sin, and goes against God’s wishes. We therefore
never got to think about it much.
As I grew up and joined secondary school and high up post
–secondary institutions, that’s when I actually realized that I was attracted
to boys. I think other students knew but couldn’t say it to my face. Instead,
they found it opportune to tease me, calling me girls’ names. With my
background, this created social problems for me, as I was not naturally
attracted to girls like all other friends of mine and yet I couldn’t date my
fellow boys. I was the only one who never had a girlfriend, for example. I therefore ended up confused and living like a
recluse. I was lost. I didn’t know what was happening to me at first, but even
when I knew, I felt disempowered, for I couldn’t live the life I wanted, even
though it wasn’t my own making. I ended up growing up a very shy boy with
confidence issues. However I started dating another shy boy when I was in
secondary school. But at this time, as I said earlier, I didn’t even know what
homosexuality was as it’s a word that was never talked about. What I knew
though, was that it was taboo and so against regulations. So we had to hide as
much as we could. Actually nothing sexual took place at this time but we knew
ourselves to be in love. We used to exchange few, cheap gifts (we were as broke
as a church mouse) like hankies, buying cards for each other and really being close
together whenever opportunity arose. This relationship ended quickly as we went
to different schools for our A’levels. At University, I got in love with another
friend of mine. This was kept a high level secret between us. Having an
advantage of sharing a hostel room worked well for us. Other students would
think we were just room—mates, as we could try to avoid being together outside
our room.
Leading this kind of life led me to develop clinical
depression which I have been able to be supported out of, with the help of
psycho-therapy. I can now talk freely of my natural being.
In Uganda, many people who get to be known as gay’s life is bleak.
They are pursued by mobs, tortured by police, or run out of their homes.
Things for me started to change when I came to the UK. I
actually got surprised to find gay people walking out free and saying it in
public and even on some national TVs. But still, it wasn’t easy for me to openly
come out due to the hard wired belief systems in my mind. I was in a community of
many Ugandans and I knew I could one time go back to Uganda. This made me think
I would face a bad situation if that was to happen.
My Mental health
condition deteriorated and required me to talk to the GP about it. Funny
enough, I could not associate my anxieties and panic attacks to my history,
until the GP referred me to “Time to Talk”. The psychotherapist I was given was
a gem. By listening to my past history, she was quick to point out where the
problem came from. She did all she could to encourage me to come out and
reassured me that nothing would happen to me while in this country. Since I
came out, I’ve been at peace with my sexuality. My sexuality has been a
learning experience in my life. I rejoice in my sexuality and know that…..and l
look forward to my presuos time ahead
When I came out as gay the sort of hysteria that has since
overwhelmed my friends and other people in our community was unthinkable. And
indeed if I was still in Uganda, I probably wouldn’t tell anyone.
It is true that same-sex sexual acts between consenting
adults have been illegal in Uganda since the British introduced their Penal Code
during their rule. However the Anti-Gay Act that was passed and later quashed by
the courts of Law was an expanded criminalisation and virulent homophobia that
was another gift to society to harass people.
The Ugandan supporters of the anti-gay law say they are
countering foreign influences and the international pressure to support homosexuality.
In signing the law, President Museveni wanted “to demonstrate Uganda’s
independence in the face of Western pressure and provocation” as though this
were an act of resisting neo-colonial power.
It is simply untrue that homosexuality is un-African. Same
sex-sexual conduct existed in various forms throughout Africa before the
colonial period; same-sex relationships were known among several groups in
Uganda, including the Bahima, the Banyoro and the Baganda. King Mwanga 11 the
last pre-colonial ruler of what is now Uganda was said to have engaged in
sexual relations with male courtiers.
I am a gay man. I am
Ugandan. There is nothing un-African about me. Uganda is where I was born, grew
up, and I call it my home. It is also a country in which I have become little
more than an un-apprehended criminal because of who I am and whom I love. I
want my fellow Ugandans to understand that homosexuality is not a Western
Import and our friends in the developed world to recognise that the current
trend of homophobia is destroying many lives in Uganda.
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